To many people, both illiterate and educated, cancer is a notorious stigma. “How people will behave with me?” “Do they think getting in touch with me will give them cancer?” “Will they maintain a distance from me?” “Will my cancer diagnosis affect my children’s marital life?” These are some of the questions that boggle one’s mind after a cancer diagnosis. As if the disease is not enough; an avalanche of ill thoughts keep your mind occupied, leading to a situation where you will want to keep your diagnosis a secret in the world. Does it help? Let’s examine the reality.
Why to Maintain Secrecy about Your Cancer Diagnosis?
The oncologists offering cancer treatment in Kolkata ascribe the reason mainly to social stigma. “The moment people learn you have a cancer, they start treating you differently, as if you are an alien”, an oncologist observes. It adds to the trauma and troubles of cancer patients, which come with their diagnosis. Patients don’t want such ‘social distancing’. They always like others to behave normally like before.
After a diagnosis, the cancer patient and family members throw a salvo of questions to the doctors about treatment options, side-effects and prognosis. According to some cancer patients, they are almost grilled by the same questions after sharing their diagnosis with their co-workers and neighbours. “How many days/years are you going to live?” Some people don’t mind being insensitive. “It seems they have nothing to talk about; the whole-day conversation centres on cancer”, a patient rues.
For some people, the reason to keep the diagnosis a secret is a financial and professional decision. “If I tell my clients about my cancer, they might think I’m too ill to handle their cases and so may jump ship. It will cost me dearly as I have to pay my medical bills. Cancer treatment is expensive”, confesses one city lawyer.
Sometimes, caregivers hide the diagnosis from the patient. Only a few family members and well-wishers know it. “It’s done when the patients are unlikely to accept that they have cancer. The truth may hurt them so much that they might not be able to receive the treatment properly. If the patient has a history of cardiac problem, lack of acceptance may acerbate the situation further”, explains a caregiver.
Can You Really Hide It?
No matter how hard you try, it’s nearly impossible to hide your cancer diagnosis. The disease and its treatment come with some obvious and abrupt changes that never go unnoticed. Many cancers cause massive and dramatic weight loss. Some cancer treatments such as chemotherapy also cause weight gain or loss. However, hair loss is the most prominent sign to cause suspicions among your co-workers, friends and neighbours that something is wrong with you.
Fatigue, nausea and hair loss are the commonest side-effects of chemotherapy. People are less likely to see fatigue or nausea but hair thinning is something you cannot hide. Weight changes and hair loss are for everyone to see.
Final Words
Though some physical changes make it difficult to keep your cancer diagnosis a secret, it is up to you to decide whom you feel comfortable to talk about your condition and worries.